#WeekendCoffeeShare: So Much to Tell…

Good Saturday morning! Thank you for joining me for another edition of #weekendcoffeeshare. Come on in and enjoy a cup of coffee with me. I have so much to tell you!

If we were having coffee, I would apologize for not joining in last weekend. I was simply too tired from the late nights.

You see, I spent last Saturday evening barbecuing, playing miniature golf, and chatting with my church friends over frozen yogurt. Time flies when you’re having fun. Before I knew it, my mom was texting me asking where I was and when I was coming home. It was almost 10pm and apparently, I had a curfew I was not aware of.

The next morning, I got a stern look and a short lecture about not tell her I was going to be home late. “Well I did tell you,” I replied, “but you were too busy watching your political YouTube videos to pay attention to what I said.” She plays those videos so loud nowadays that I have to plug my ears with noise-isolated earbuds just to hear anything.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I had just about the best birthday on Monday and this was made possible by my church friends, Facebook friends, blogging friends, and co-workers. I was presented a birthday cake – super moist strawberry cake with kiwi and cream cheese frosting – during my weekly Bible study on Sunday night. It was delicious.

Then on Monday morning, I was showered with a birthday card signed by all my co-workers and a bunch of balloons. For lunch, I got to choose a restaurant. I chose Cheesecake Factory because I have never been there. The food was fantastic and at the word that it was my birthday, I was presented with a free sundae. So good.

Everything went downhill two days later, the day I finally received the print copy of the anthology featuring my story.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I got my very first car last Saturday. It didn’t take me long to decide since I did all my research and decided on the car to buy the night before. I got a brand new Chevrolet SUV. I originally didn’t want a SUV because they’re too big of a car for me. However, after I saw and compared the SUV to the sedan, I realized the SUV was a bit smaller than the sedan. So that was my final choice and the entire process took less than 4 hours. Fastest car purchase ever.

So far, other than driving the car home from the car dealership, I haven’t been able to take the car out of the garage. That actually is the reason why the rest of the week went downhill.

It was like February 2016 all over again and it dredged up that painful memory and made me think that maybe this time, I should really do, not almost do, what I had almost done last time.

And all I said was I want to drive to work, so instead of waiting for the 3pm bus, I can come home two hours early and do some chores. You can do a lot in two hours. That conversation ended with an ultimatum of three choices and the revocation of car privileges except it wouldn’t work since I now have my own car.  It’s one of the reasons why I bought the car, so she can’t pull that stunt on me again. In an impulse, I wrote this super long Facebook post the following night.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I have been having on and off fever and chills during the past two days, ever since I have to make the tough decision to give up everything and move out or stay and endure perhaps a few more years of my mother’s narcissism. I believe the fever and chills were caused by stress.

I went and took a look at an apartment yesterday. I liked it but it all came down to my current financial situation. Even though the outlook is good, the current situation is looking very tight.

I told my mom I was looking at apartments when she questioned about how I arrived at the train station so early. She immediately put me through a guilt trip. It made me half changed my mind to stay but then another voice told me, “it’s just another trait of her mental disorder (narcissistic personality disorder).” I had to take numerous deep breath to calm down. It was not easy but I am now more resolved that I must move out soon to detach myself from my mother. I just have to make myself take the next step.

It’s starting to feel like a bad breakup or worse, a bad divorce where I get nothing and my mother gets my house and possession. I am pathetic. I feel like a pathetic idiot right now.

If we were having coffee, I would thank you for joining me this week and hopefully, I will be back this weekend.