My current state of mind is a mixture of sadness and hopefulness in addition to anger and maybe a little volatile. To be honest, I’m all cried out. On Thursday, after I found out I no longer have any transportation, I cried most of the night. Every time that thought popped into my mind, tears fell out of my eyes and then, instead of sleeping, I spent most of the morning hours contemplating my future plans and what I’m going to do for the final week of school before Spring Break. I think I’ve had it figured out.
On Friday morning, I cried again, this time, it was just the thought that she’s angry but on the other hand, I’m starting to think she’s crazy. Moreover, I refuse to stoop down so low as to get on my knees and beg for forgiveness when I’ve done nothing wrong. I mean, is it really so wrong for me to have another break after being at school and work all day?
At noon, I contacted the apartment across the road from the school and arranged a meeting on Monday. That afternoon, I went to work, worked until almost 8 PM and not once, did she text me to come home for dinner and it was then I realized she was giving me the “silent treatment”. Fine, you want to play this game? I’m in. I will not be broken that easily.
I told my boss and co-worker about my dilemma and immediately, they began to help me, searching for a used, affordable, and dependable car for me. I’m feel so grateful for having a group of such supportive people. Not only that, my tablet’s fixed! This means I’m back on Instagram!
On Saturday, once again, it was silent treatment. Neither of us spoke a word to each other. As I sat in my room in the morning, I was listening to her conversation with my relative. I didn’t mean to but she just talked so damn loud. She was telling them how stupid and what a moron I was for messing up instructions. IT’S NOT MY FAULT!!! I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up and shut the door. Then an hour later, she went out mysteriously and left me to myself for the entire day.
I went out to my work in the afternoon again after encountering another problem with my tablet. It’s not charging. It scared the hell out of me. It turned out to be a loose connection. Whew. When I got home and checked the mail, I found there was only one piece of mail in the mailbox and it was the news I’ve been dreaded. She had removed my name on the auto insurance. She was serious this time. Well, if she’s serious, then I’ll be serious about moving out.
Anyway, I think I’ve got my future sorted in a systematic manner. My boss is out hunting a cheap and dependable car for me while hopefully, I’ll be moving out pretty soon, maybe within the next week or maybe during Spring Break. Presently, no one knows of my plan except for my loyal readers of this blog and I probably won’t tell her until the plan is set solid. That is why my mind is so mixed up at the moment, staying at home makes me feel sad and angry yet I’m filled with this optimism that I’ll be soon stepping out of the dark tunnel and into the sun.