Why do I feel like a part of the universe is working against me here?
Last Friday, I finally went to the doctor to have my face checked out. Since the end of July, large red bumps like mosquito bites had been forming on my face. They don’t hurt nor itch. Most of the time, these annoying things are red but at times, they turn purple, making me look like I’ve been in a bar-fight. Since mid-August, I’ve been searching for a doctor to see me. It’s so hard to get an appointment with a doctor these days. Most of the doctors are booked until October. I suspect it has something to do with the healthcare system.
Anyway, the nurse practitioner was puzzled when she saw me. Immediately, she scoured the internet for an answer with the presumption that it’s lupus. Hearing that scared me. Lupus? How can I have lupus? What is lupus? (I later googled and found out)
It’s one of the reasons I don’t like doctors. They like to throw out scary names for one tiny thing. A few years ago, I had a doctor who threw the “c” word at me – thyroid cancer – when he discovered a nodule on my thyroid during an ultrasound. It turned out to be nothing. It made me anxious the entire weekend. Anyway, I was skeptical when the nurse practitioner threw “lupus” at me and you can see why.
After some 20 minutes of scouring the web, the nurse practitioner gave up and decided it would be better to do a blood test. A nurse came in and collected 3 vials of my blood and sent me on my way.
During Labor Day weekend, I was anxiously anticipating my test results. Part of me knew I was okay while a part of me was worried that something was wrong. There has to be an explanation for what’s going on with my face. My mom thought it’s some kind of blood disorder or environmental contamination. I thought it’s just a harmless annoying rash that wouldn’t go away.
Since I get my results online, I logged into the website and checked almost every hour to see if the results had come in. Some of the results came out on Saturday and the rest came out on Tuesday.
Something was definitely wrong with me. The tests said I have an inflammation somewhere in my body. It said I have rheumatoid arthritis, Sjogren syndrome, and lupus. Tell me this isn’t as scary as it looks.
Worst of all, the nurse practitioner hasn’t call me back with the interpretation of the result. Exactly which of these horrible things do I have? Please don’t tell me I have all of them because I would hate to add it to my ever growing list of health problems.
I’ve been told by a physician when I was 14 that if I didn’t get my hypocalcemia under control, I will only get to live until the age of 33. I’m almost 25 now and I just got my thyroid under control. So why do I need anymore health problems? And why do I feel like my body is on the verge of breaking down like an old car? I’m too young to feel this way.
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