There was a house a block from ours, a house our parents specifically told us to avoid. “Bad things happen when someone crosses onto the property,” mother would say but I was rebellious.
One night I sneaked out, tip-toeing along the wrought-iron gate but just as I was about to step through the hole in the gate, a voice hissed behind me. “What are you doing? You’re going to get caught.” It was my annoying little brother. I waved him off and stepped through anyway.
As my right foot landed on the other side of the gate, I felt something…
(100 words)
Sorry about the ending. I know some of you readers hate it but I didn’t have a choice, I ran out of words. So if you must know, it was a spell breaking and that’s very bad considering what was let out or who. You can come out with that one on your own. Think supernaturally!!!
Each week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple hosts Friday Fictioneers where we’re challenged to write a piece of flash fiction in 100 words, more or less, based on the picture above.
A possible edit,, leaving you with 12 more words
There was a house a block from ours, a house Mom insisted we avoid. “Bad things happen when someone enters the property,” mother would say but I was rebellious.
One night I sneaked out but just as I was about to step through the hole in the wrought iron gate, a voice hissed behind me. “You’re going to get caught.” It was my annoying little brother. I waved him off and stepped through anyway.
As my right foot landed on the other side of the gate, I felt
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All right, that’s one possible way to put it. Thanks for reading and the suggestion.
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It’s good!
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Thanks.
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I felt something grabbing my foot…
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Nice one.
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She’s dead in 3…2…1…
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😀
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I have no problem with the ending. It lets us imagine what he might’ve felt: grass, mud, a clawed hand, a decomposing body… the possibilities are endless.
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I’m glad to hear that. Some of my readers have had problems in the past. So I just wanted to put a note in there and then they won’t be caught by surprise.
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Like Magaly, I have no problem with you leaving us hanging…
(by the way, there is an excess ‘d’ hanging around after parents’ … surely the key up and jumped to your finger!)
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I’m glad to hear that. That “d” was a contraction for “had”. Now that you’ve mentioned it, maybe I didn’t use it right.
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Yeah… no need for that!
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Okay.
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Leaving the ending open like this gives us room to choose and it also leaves you with the chance to finish it in a second post.
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Absolutely.
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A spell broke! Nice take on the prompt
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Thank you.
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My advice is to ignore all the advice you get and write the story in your own way.
It works fine with the open ending, something I use often.
Anyone with imagination will enjoy it, anyone who asks ‘What happened next?’ you can ignore.
Keep doing this challenge, your writing will get tighter.
And keep ignoring all advice!
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Thank you for your comment. 🙂
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When I said don’t do it – it was done 🙂. The end of the story was alright for me.
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Glad to hear that.
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Creepy! Hope it’s something good, but I kinda doubt it.
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The ending is in the reader’s mind…
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That’s the beauty of an open ending. 🙂
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I don’t mind the open ending, but I also like your hints about breaking the spell and letting something out — that sounds pretty ominous!
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I’m glad to hear that and yes, there’s something pretty dark coming.
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I like the ending, too. Nicely done.
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Thank you.
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Oh oh, they’ve stepped in something bad and the rest is up to our imagination, I’m fine with that
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I’m glad to hear that. 🙂
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