“R-run!” Mary screamed but I didn’t need her warning to start running. The rocks were tumbling down the mountain, quicker than we could run. I didn’t need to see it, the deafening roar was enough. “Blair!” Mary screamed as I looked back. The rocks had stopped tumbling but trapped beneath was Mary. “Help.” She whimpered.
“Mary?” She was panting by the time I reached her. Her face was as pale as a ghost.
“My leg,” she breathed and it was then I noticed the blood quickly soaking her jeans and shirt. “I don’t think I’ll make it.” She whimpered, “I’m bleeding out.”
I shook my head, “No, I refuse to believe that. I am going to get you out.” With all my strength, I began pushing the boulder trapping Mary’s legs but it wouldn’t budge. I tried again and again and again.
“It’s okay,” Mary said softly.
“No, it’s not!” I screamed as tears fell from my eyes. “I will get you out, you hear me?!” She didn’t hear me. She couldn’t. She was gone.
(~175 words)
I am participating in Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writer, where we write a piece between 100 and 150 words (more or less 25 words) in length inspired by the photo prompt above.
Nooo!! So sad.
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This is a fine piece of writing, which invoked sadness.
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Thank you.
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Very touching.,, nicely told👏👍
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Thank you.
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Well written story from start to finish!
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Thank you.
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Great story Yinglan! It leaves me wanting more. No, she can’t die, don’t let her die! I really enjoyed it but the ending is sad.
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Thank you. This took me a while to write since I haven’t written something with this much suspense in a while. The ending left me crying too. It’s so sad, I hope she doesn’t die either.
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Very touching!
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Excellent depiction of the fear and panic in this situation, so well done Yinglan..
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Thank you. 🙂
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Gripping story. Not a fan of the ending, though. 😛
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Thank you. I’m not a fan of this kind of ending either but I do love writing it. 😀
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No Mary cannot leave the readers and go. she might have lost consciousness and will get out of this danger.
http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/06/make-or-break.html
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Anything’s possible.
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Oh, nooo…so very real. Good job on this one!
The Mine
Annie at ~McGuffy’s Reader~
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Thank you. 🙂
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An action packed scene with a very sad ending. I’m sure many avalanches have taken lives this way.
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Thank you. I agree, the ending is sad.
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Tragic loss.
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I really want to get into flash fiction writing so searched for that and your story came up. It was fantastic. A great read which had intensity and tragedy mixed well. How long have you been writing Flash Fiction?
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Thanks. I’ve been writing flash fiction for about three years, I think.
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Do you write pieces regularly?
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Yes I do.
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Id be honoured if you’d check this out https://tanyatale.wordpress.com/2017/07/07/bridge-of-eternal-love/
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It was well written.
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