On the first day of this challenge, I wrote I’m daringly optimistic. Yes, I am an insanely optimistic person and often times, that optimism led to disappointment. Like when I go in for a job interview. As I exited the room, my gut was already telling me I won’t get the job and meanwhile, images of how my life was set to change began to play in my head. I took a deep breath to make it go away but instead, the images just became clearer. It is INSANE!!!
Another time was one week before I was set to move out. This damn optimism cost me a week of sleep. Every minute of everyday, images would play in my head of how I can do whatever I want, how I can finally change my hair style, dye it, curl it, cut it, and how I can finally go anywhere I want. I kept reminding myself, “You might not move,” but there was no competing with my other half which was telling me, “You need this.”
The moment I hung up the phone after telling the landlady I was no longer moving was the moment when the wave of disappointment crashed upon me. I wasn’t upset or relief. I felt nothing other than the ping of what felt like after a child’s told he/she’s no longer receive a toy he/she wanted for Christmas. I think at times, being optimistic is good while at other times, it’s sort of like a curse.
Optimism is sometimes a bad thing, don’t you agree?
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