I am writing this letter because there’s been lots on my mind and living with you hadn’t made it any easier. I also want to I’m sorry I’ve been a little cranky lately. I know I should say it to your face instead of writing it here but let’s face it, I can never do that. You’d say I deserve it and give me one of your a-waste-of-time lectures.
The way you attempt to micromanage my life. It’s very frustrated. Time to eat, time to sleep, time to work. I am 24, not 5. I don’t need anyone telling me when I should do this and when I should that. Okay, I feel a little ashamed for getting getting angry at 24 because I am still living at home but still, I think I have the right.
You don’t even know, do you? That you’re micromanaging me? Of course, you don’t. You micromanage everybody.
There’s that and the fact that I just spent my winter break working. I mean, you can’t even let me have a few hours by myself, just let me read a novel or write a story or something. You just have to hog all the attention. Don’t you know I’ve been looking forward to this break for a long time?
It’s been one hell of a semester especially the part where I have to tutor you on your homework and have to constantly listen to you complain about one of the best teacher I’ve ever had in college. Then I stare at my textbook day and night. All I wanted was to spend my winter break reading something I enjoy and let my brain relax but what do you do? You make me work.
That first week, I worked until Christmas Eve and I thought I would get a break after Christmas but you roped me into another project. Okay, I don’t mind a project and deadline but I do mind you criticizing me throughout and turning down every one of my ideas. You keep telling me, “Think before do,” but it seems like you don’t do that yourself. I mean, you tell me one thing and less than a minute later, you start screaming at how I’m doing it wrong. This was your idea in the first place!
Here’s another, all these expectations you have for the website? It’s too much. You’re expecting too much. It’s a $300/year website. You can’t compare it to Amazon and Ebay which are like what? 300K?
I am not a professional web designer, okay. The only web design class I took was 10 years ago in high school. That’s it. I wanted to take more, go for a degree but you said it pays too low. Whose fault is that? So stop expecting me to be a professional web designer or a handyman. I am not jack of all trades nor am I perfect. I make mistakes.
There’s another, over the years, you’ve managed to suck all the confidence from me. Do you how nervous I was that day I went clothes shopping by myself? I almost left the store empty-handed because I was so afraid you’d yell at me for not getting a great deal on the clothes. It took me a enormous amount of courage to walk out of the store that day with the clothes I wanted.
You say it’s not possible for me to get depressed or any kind of psychological disorder but I’m telling you, just because I don’t cry in front of you doesn’t mean I don’t cry alone.