The Fall When Everything Changed


Sometimes, I wondered, if we stayed in California, would I be successful with going to college early? Would I still be friends with the people I’ve known since the 5th grade? Or would the result still be the same?

It was Fall of 2005 when my social world went kaboom and I had to start over again.

I had just begun my freshman year in high school. I spent that entire summer with my friend in summer school, not the kind for delinquents but the kind for those who wanted through high school. I was laughing and having fun all day. I know it sounds strange to have fun in summer school but I was, I was happy.

Then my mother interfered. It wouldn’t be her first time. Anyway, she read it somewhere about a kid who graduated high school two years early with an Associate. She wanted me to be like that kid, except one tiny problem, I am not that kid. I don’t want to rush through life, especially high school. I wanted to enjoy it.

But my mother knew I didn’t want to make her angry. She knows how to push my buttons. By that autumn when school officially began again, I had already taken the placement exam and was enrolled in two 3 credits courses in the local community college, Chinese and Pre-calculus.

I was almost always fell asleep in pre-calculus because after 8 hours of high school along with 3 hours of night classes everyday not to mention suffering from hypocalcemia and who knows what, well you get my point. Besides, I didn’t really understand anything because I was only in geometry in high school. The happiest hour of the day was lunch when I get to socialize with my small group of friends.

Then in November of that year, suddenly everything changed. One day, my mother withdrew me from school and told me I was never come back and that we were moving to Texas after the we come back from China, a trip which she planned a few months back.

I spent most of that morning gathering my teacher’s signatures to get the school’s approval to sign me out. I remember pondering on the words, move and Texas. They been talking about moving to Texas ever since the seventh grade, that’s 2 years back. Why now?

I left my friends without saying goodbye, friends I’ve had since the 5th grade. After I moved to Texas, I spent my days mostly alone or cooped up in my room. I think the people at the new school were trying too hard to be my friend and I didn’t like that. They always feared that I might break any second. Of course, I like that they were annoyingly nice but at the same time, I liked my space and they were always way too close.

Eventually, I moved on to Utah where I made a few friends, only to lose them when we graduated. Even now, from time to time, I still find myself admiring how close my mom is still to her friends. I mean after graduating high school 30 years later, they are still in contact with each other. I guess the time of easy-making friends is gone. Those are just going to be the good old days.

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8 thoughts on “The Fall When Everything Changed

  1. Pingback: Life Is Beautiful | Rahul Creatrix's Blog

  2. Oh my. Such a sad story. I do hope you been able to make some meaningful relationships since then. It is indeed hard since “grown-ups” are even more cliquish sometimes than even in high school. I’ve learned that indeed you can’t get along with everyone, but that those you can get along with (and that understand when it’s “me time”) are as valuable as gold. A few friendships like that are the ones that should last.

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    • It’s indeed been hard especially when I keep missing the “make friends” window. I mean, I usually won’t make a friend until near the end of something whether being a semester or year and that’s hard because that’s when I am about to move on to something else. I made a few friends but I always lose them when I move on.

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  3. I admire your strength and courage as expressed in your post, as well as your about me pages. In the life challenges you shared, you seems to always come out of them with a silver lining and that’s struck accord with me. It’s always exciting to find someone who writes something and as you’re reading it, you’re thinking “that describes me perfectly!”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Roxanne. Something good will always come out from struggles. That’s just life, I guess. I find it exciting too whenever I find someone who writes something that describe what I’m going through. That always cheers me up when the people around me don’t understand what I’m feeling.

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  4. I’m sorry you had to move so suddenly – it must have been rough, especially since you had to uproot and leave behind all your established friendships. 😦

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  5. Yinglan, you are wise to use this WP group as a means of expressing yourself and receiving feedback. You are obviously a very talented person. If you are need of a grandmother, I’m here! And I’m reading! And I’m writing! Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

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